Fall 2002 ~ Newsletter
Hope: A National Perspective
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The Gift of Cystic Fibrosis
- a perspective by a person with CF who became a doctor...
by William Oliver, MD
There are two major questions that eventually arise upon learning that you have cystic fibrosis: "Why me?" and "What will my life be like?" The answers that you find to these questions will impact and define your life forever.
The first question - "Why me?" People have been asking this question about circumstances in their lives throughout history. I don't know the answer; however, bitterness and self-pity cannot be a response. As a teenager and young adult, I felt alone and persecuted with CF observing how other lived "normally." With help from many people, I began to realize that bitterness saps our energy and renders us hopeless. These emotions held me powerless over my life and CF. Such emotions will hut you more than CF. So, whatever your answer to "why me?" may be - expel bitterness and self-pity. Furthermore, bitterness and self-pity will rob you of an extremely vital element of your life - hope, which is the building block for the answer to the second question - "what will my life be like?"
I am 46 years old and was diagnosed with CF in 1956. At that time, life expectancy was 3 - 5 years of age. With such limited knowledge and therapeutic options, my parents were afraid for me. Yet, somehow they maintained hope against the prevailing wisdom to simply accept fate gracefully. Cystic Fibrosis is a cruel disease that often tries to rob us of our hope but no one truly knows the degree of power that lies in the mind and heart. It is within our hear that our greatest gift as individuals with CF shines brightest, our ability to fight and hope. As a young child, many predicted that I would not attend college, then medical school, then residency, then become a staff physician at the Mayo clinic. The path was not easy, but became a reality.
Of course, not all things are realized with a disease like CF. I decided in medical school that I wanted to specialize in the care of premature infants, but it required a pediatric residency. As a medical student, I became seriously ill with exposure to children with colds and flu during general pediatric clinics. Cystic Fibrosis forced me to abandon neonatal medicine. I chose anesthesiology in part because of health issues. Subsequently, I completed a cardiac anesthesia fellowship and eventually worked with children that had congenital heart disease and required surgery. Anesthesiology had fulfilled my dream of working with neonatal infants. Cystic Fibrosis had me down, but did not deliver a knock out.
I am 46 years old, yet as a child my parents maintained hope against the prevailing wisdom to simply accept fate gracefully.
Each person with CF experiences many challenges daily that may differ significantly from others they know with CF. The common thread is the ability to fight. As patients with CF, our capacity to fight is one of our greatest assets. As a doctor, I have marveled at the human capacity to fight and do the unexpected. But fight depends on hope and it depends on managing another opponent - fear.
No one can know what to expect from life with CF. The faces of the disease are as different as the number of people with it. Cystic Fibrosis will prevent everyone from doing or experiencing some things in life. However, it is critical that we not let the fear of disappointment prevent us from trying to do things. Make CF stop you, not fear. When CF does stop you, redirect your energies and go after something else. Don't let fear keep you from sharing the gifts that seem to be present in people with CF like empathy, love, tenderness, fight, desire and iron willpower. As a person with CF you can share these gifts with the world and the world will be better for having you in it. And a better world is what hope is about. Irrespective of how long a life is, more importantly, was the life worth living? I will say to all with Cystic Fibrosis that their life will have been a beacon of light, remembered and cherished by all that they touched. This is the life I have seen is so many CF patients that have given me hope and encouragement, making me thankful that they came through my life.