Summer 1999 ~ Newsletter
Coping With The Difficulties Of Cystic Fibrosis
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Suggestions To Help Cope With The Hard Times
by Kim (Dutton) Brindley, M. Ed.
Sometimes it seems like you have adjusted to your current health status, then BOOM! something changes. It's hard to cope with these setbacks and / or new problems and situations. What can you do?Here are a few suggestions from Kim (Dutton) Brindley, a counselor from Children's Harbor Family Center at Children's Hospital:1. Become AWARE.New situations and setbacks call for additional or different ways to cope. The stressor may represent many different meanings. For example, you may be responding, unconsciously or consciously, to a similar experience you or someone you know has experienced. It is helpful, but sometimes difficult, to know the full meaning of the stressor. However, the more clarity you have about the stressor, the better equipped and prepared you will be to cope. A few questions you may ask yourself to bring clarity to a stressor include the following:(For the purpose of this article, we will identify a stressor as a new diagnosis)Am I reacting as if I will have the same outcome as those I know that have the same diagnosis?What changes or stressors, other than this diagnosis, are in my life right now?What does this diagnosis mean to me?Are my responses or reactions based on medical information or other's reactions?2. Take INVENTORY.Review in your mind or on paper what coping techniques have and have not worked for you in the past. Take time to do this. It may sound mundane or silly, but this can be very productive. If you can't think of anything you may have done, reflect back on a recent, not to stressful event. For example -- running late for an appointment. What did you do, think, and feel during this event? It is common to cope with stressful events by avoiding thoughts and feelings. Avoidance is a coping skill. That's okay and at times necessary. Pay close attention to your stress level, you know how much you can handle.
One generally responds to change the way they have done so in the past. You do what you know, unless you learn to know more. Does that make sense? In other words, if you typically respond to stress by isolating yourself then you will likely continue to isolate yourself unless you make an effort to choose to respond in a different manner. It is easier to practice these new and healthier responses when you are feeling less stressed, because this new response takes energy and energy is sometimes difficult to muster when one is stressed.
What is an average day like for you? Are you naturally a cool or a simmering pot? A simmering pot of water boils over quickly. A cool pot of water takes time to boil. Practice cooling techniques daily to cope with the heat of change. Some cooling techniques include making a choice to be around others who are optimistic and supportive, and playing. . . .Read on. . .
3. Take time to PLAY.Play is an important part of coping as a child, teen, and adult. It's a natural soother and way to release tension. This is how you first communicated as a child. Some playful things to do may include trying something new or creating anything like a cake or a painting (even if you've never had a class!)4. Whoa, HOLD ON!Just when you think things are back to normal -- here comes another curve ball. It's time to re-adjust. Many people have asked me why they are so upset and crying about CF, as they had already cried over the diagnosis. With each change, no matter what the level of security, we go through the emotions of grief over and over again. This is natural. Don't give up. Remember to keep practicing stress relievers that are both verbal and physical. Talk about your stressors with someone you trust and take breaks from your thoughts and feelings about your stressors. Do not forget to involve yourself in those routine and maybe mundane activities. It's helpful to have some security with the sameness in the midst of change.5. Seek OTHERS.It's natural to experience and struggle with many different feelings at once during change. It is your way of making sense of the change. If you are feeling overwhelmed, out of control, have experienced a significant change in your mood or behavior, or would like another person to talk with and sort through these changes, then go see a counselor. Counseling can be a positive experience. If you would like to come and talk with someone at the Harbor, just call (205) 939-6123. Counseling at Children's Harbor Family Center at Children's Hospital is confidential and free of charge for anyone who is a patient of the pulmonary division at Children's Hosptial. In addition, we see the family of the patient at no charge. If you have any questions or comments on the above, please do no hesitate to call Kim at (205)939-6123.
A Few Helpful Tips On Coping
1. Know the stressor.2. Review reactions.3. Enjoy life.4. Don't give up.5. Seek help from others.
The Children's Harbor Family Center At Children's HospitalWhen a child or teenager is diagnosed with cancer, sickle cell or other blood disease, or a pulmonary disorder, families often experience intense fears and anxieties. Besides dealing with the medical diagnosis, many families are also coping with typical family problems like financial stress, job dissatisfaction, marital strain, school problems and child rearing.
In response to families' struggles with these and other life issues, Children's Harbor established The Children's Harbor Family Center in 1995. Since its formation the Center has been dedicated to supporting and strengthening families through free, confidential counseling services. We also work closely with schools and agencies in the home community to make sure that a variety of family needs are addressed. For more information about Children's Harbor, call (205) 939-6123.
Children's Harbor ServicesOur services are provided to patients and families in a warm, family - centered environment.* Individual Counseling* Family Counseling* Marriage Counseling* Parent and Child Relationship Counseling* Support Groups for various age levels* Educational Assessment / Coordination / Consultation* Coordination and Referral to Community Agencies
